If only...

ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS AND HAVE NO RESEMBLANCE TO ANYONE.AND I'M BACK.!!!

And she sat in her favourite corner in the dark.crying,thinking,contemplating.

As he walked into my life,as a friend,an angel always there in my hardest moments making me laugh,

Pleading guilty; I didnt let him in sooner,into my happiness.Selfish I was,I didnt know I was cutting his soul into half.

I was in love,an unknown magical made up world of bliss,knowing that this was love,

I ducked,ignored but finally I had to tell him that it wasn't him.Like an undertaker I had to shove.

But yet he was there,without saying a word,always supporting me but dying from inside, a feeling he never ever showed,

A masochist being He,sometimes I wish He would have told me atleast once,put a doubt at my ignorance;before I took that long winding road.

So I sat in my favourite corner,alone in the dark.crying,thinking,contemplating.

Days turned into months,I had forgotten my minute guilt.Living the life I had in my dreams,I couldn't believe that this was ever going to end,

Didnt hear from him,I thought he was happy too.I'd much cared for him as friend,I thought I had nothing to amend.

There was a subtle sadness Id failed to capture,talked to him after months.But little did I know I was digging deeper into his sadness,

I failed to see,come out of my blissful world when I needed to.My reason; my friendship that I failed to harness

So I sat in my favourite corner,alone in the dark.crying,thinking,contemplating.

I blamed him,for not keeping in touch. I knew I was right, although I could feel the tremors in own world giving me a fright,

There were arguments and fights live every one has, a small unrest thrown in, felt I was being controlled in my s,ky like a kite.

I told him about my problems,and all he did was help me out like a true friend.I was lucky to have someone like him so close,

As I battled my way,he just kept a smile.I stopped while walking.Is he is the right man I chose.

So I sat in my favourite corner,alone in the dark.crying,thinking,contemplating.

He gave me gifts,surprises and the love I failed to see.He was going,didnt realise his value until the days passed and the time came close,

Didnt give him a farewell he deserved,the future that lay ahead for both of us,no one would know.

I was still sailing in stormy seas whilst He just couldnt hold his tears together anymore,broke down and just let it flow,

I should have known better,the guilt and shame that bled out of me,I couldnt stare at the mirror,somehow I felt wrong now; at the time when he was about to take his bow.

He left, I was coming back to life and for the first time when I needed a friend He wasnt there,

But then the love of my life(pun intended) decided to stand by me for the first time,for a long time I missed the care.

But I was confused,I still felt I made the right decision. I was under a rough patch,but it all cleared up as he left and my love life suddenly became clear,as he going away brought us near.

So I sat in my favourite corner,alone in the dark.crying,thinking,contemplating.

A couple of years gone by,I still hear his voice.But He ponders on coming back,as it strikes me the love was all a mirage,

I start feeling the guilt again,and this time Im sure it was him all along.But the words dont come as I live a life of accepting my fate.

I can still feel the love,miles away from me,fading away.Its a long time that I made him wait.

But I give in,I didnt have the guts to listen to my heart.A coward I was as I made my way back to the start.

He slowly disappeared, throwing disgust as I settled with the 'happy' love of my life who I thought was perfect,But I knew it wasnt.I convinced it was meant to be,swallowed my guilt,my life's final draft.

So I sat in my favourite corner,alone in the dark.crying,thinking,contemplating.

I wondered if I he was with me,I think that was how it was meant to be.But....

I wish I had taken that chance,to enjoy that summer dance.

I just know Ive made a mistake that I cannot turn back time and erase.

If only....