MP3

A cheesy caption for this post.But what can I do?At this point I can think of no one but her and as per AJ goofy style I sent her a stupid forwarded message to which she would be thinking something like what wrong with this dude.Well there aint anything wrong but you know all of a sudden the only thought I have is her.Ie mera pehla pehla pyaar(mp3).Cant disclose her name although no one really reads my blog but still people love to embarass me in front of others so cant tell.Anyways ive had infatuations galore and I wouldnt call her my true and only love but ya she was or is my first love and nothing can change that fact.During school I was such a fuckin wuss,a geekozoid,a nerdynymph or a pussy all the obscene adjectives I can think of.But in short I wasnt even a man,I was just an immature girl.Today I am so disgusted with the old myself I can really shoot him if I meet him.Cos that is the only reason why things didnt work out between us and she started dating ape man.Dont get me wrong in between there are some memories,beautiful and precious I still cling on to but sadly we've moved along in different directions and now crossed the point of no return. She is kinda selfish(Im trying to please myself) but those days were like the episodes of wonder years without a wonderful ending and that happened only because of me. She is by far the prettiest girl Ive known my life and even today i mumble in front of her. Do I still love her?Of course not. I try to please myself by saying that you know if things would have worked out you would have been stuck. But at this point of time it really doesnt matter, because I wish at this time had I been a little more of me as of today the eternal dream of the first love would have been a reality and not a dream. And she gave me so many chances to redeem my lost or missing manhood and as usual i screwed up big time. Atleast Im over the depression that marred me throught my std 12th. A little tact was all I needed man. And today as much as I try to convince her wouldnt work,obviously its been so long and tiring and if I were her I would have as told before shot myself.
I really dont know why i wrote this.